You Don’t Know God — Yet

Are you someone who has lived through religious trauma or childhood trauma? Still haven’t healed it? I need you to listen up — this post is for you. 

You don’t know God. Yet. What you know is a perception of God, mimicked and manipulated by your perpetrators who abused you. What you know is an image of God that resembles the mother or father who betrayed you. What you know is a misconception of God as an authoritarian ruler who uses rules as scare tactics into submission. None of these are God. You don’t know God yet. 

I’m 33 years old, grew up in church, ministry, music ministry, missions and church camp, and I’ve just barely touched the surface of the essence of God in my life. Haven’t even scratched it. The reason? Religious trauma, at 9 years of age — it left me with the same kind of damage to the brain and psyche of a sexually abused child. Because of the event that took place then, I became addicted to trauma and suffering. Later, at 15 years old, that origin of trauma was “locked-in” behind another traumatic event that I blocked out almost automatically. At 30, I uncovered that suppressed memory. That’s why I don’t know God yet. That’s why, if you’re here resonating, you don’t know God yet, either. 

But here’s what the underlying “why” to this is: you need to loosen the grip and create movement around your past experiences and memories. Just like you have to rehabilitate a sprained ankle, you have to do the same with your memory. Otherwise those unresolved memories just keep dictating how you live life. They keep dictating how you respond and handle things, and that ultimately, becomes a lifestyle. As much as you try and step into the driver’s seat, something is influencing your route — creating all kinds of detours — from the backseat. That is where your voice plays a pivotal role. When you label things correctly, when you release what needs to be said around your experiences, when you use “I am” commands over yourself and your life to move forward, you will. 

I know that you still have a faith. I know that you still believe God is real, that He is around, but you're struggling to comprehend the "make it make sense" factor. I get it. For a visual comprehension to help you with this, watch my YouTube video at @brookerichey.music9 (the link is here, even though you can't see it). But here's what I need you to understand — the only person being harmed here is yourself. You might also spontaneously, inadvertently hurt others by mistake. If you let the un-resolve go on too long, you run the risk of turning into a narcissist, and we all know the kind of harm they cause. Don't become them. Don't give yourself the chance.

I know you want a full and vibrant life. I am here to tell you and show you how that life is possible and the only cost there is to receiving it? Is to relieve duty from the version of yourself, where you are right now, that is trapped, caged and held in restraint because of your suppressed trauma, emotions and past. If you did not receive the love and support you should have received back then, what is stopping you from giving yourself that love and support now? From commanding yourself to both provide it for yourself and receive it from others? Nothing. There is nothing stopping you; except for the feeling that you can't, causes your hesitation, your delay and procrastination. While your feelings help you reflect, process and navigate, they do not hold the absolute truth to what can and cannot be. Your feelings are indicator lights for the things that your nervous system needs you to deal with. If your car is overheating, you better listen to that light, pull over, and cool down your engine. Last, if you never name what you felt, or what you're feeling, you will never move past the experience that caused the feeling. This is why it's so easy for us to get hooked on dopamine, and forget happy memories — they are enjoyable to feel, they are "free" — their flow is easy to allow because the feelings themselves don’t pose a threat to our nervous system.

If you want some help with this. Help with reconnecting to source. Help with naming what you're feeling, and moving on for good. Help with ending the reactive cycle you're in. Or help with realigning your path and finding clarity, watch my free training, Finding Safety Through Self-Expression, where I teach you the voice-led clarity method that helped me recover my own 15-year suppressed memory. The same method that helped me unlock and detach from the cage of trauma-brain, you can learn in this 22-minute video. 

So real talk — do you feel resistance in your gut about clicking the link above? That is your core essence of self, begging you to give it some attention, love and nurturing. 

To that, you want to know how God would respond? 

No question. 

No hesitation. 

Swift action. 

What you need is done. 

-B