Walk in Full Ownership

In other words, stop lying to yourself. That is, if you’re someone who cringes at the word, “ownership”.

If you’ve ever looked at someone and thought, “How do they do that??” Well, you’re not alone. But just a word of caution, this can be a dangerous thought, because it’s one step away from comparison — where comparison is the thief of joy. And if you’re not enjoying life… why bother? Pro tip: stop comparing. If you want to be where they are, or have similar success — it’s just a big game of follow the leader. You have to lead your life, fully and honestly; and most importantly, at a natural pace. 

And that’s just what people who get this kind of response or gawking do. The walk in full ownership (with your own perception influencing too) but really? It’s just ownership. They have radical ownership over their life. It doesn’t matter what they do, where they’ve been, or what they’ve experienced, they own their life by how they carry, deal with and proceed from any obstacle or hardship. They own their decision making in facing any challenge or goal. These kind of people understand that the best person to advocate for themselves, is their own self. These kind of people have a deep respect for their own time. They have a deep respect for their desires. They have a deep respect for living life at their own pace. 

You want to know what these people don’t do? They don’t run around looking for the next thing that’s going to fill a void inside of them. Instead, they address the void head on. They don’t get caught up in distraction. They evaluate new opportunities carefully, and avoid rushing them. They don’t waste their time when someone isn’t interested or when someone intentionally aims to cause them harm or disrespect. They don’t waste their time wallowing in something that happened to them — even if it is an atrocity — they deal with it, in the most time-effective way possible. That means, they understand when to ask for help, and how to do so without blowing up on others. 

People who get that wow-factor response from on-lookers are people who understand these key things about ownership:

1. We’re ever-evolving, which means life is an on-going journey of experiencing and letting go. You will be more fulfilled in life, the more that you can exercise this in your life — even, and especially with, the small details. Get a new pair of sneakers, at least once a year and retire an old pair. Exercise newness and change, this keeps you in a routine of transferring your personality and confidence into a new appearance, a new place, a new friendship, etc. Being a sexy hermit is great every once and awhile, but if you forget how to connect with people? You lose touch with others, and yourself, and that is what puts your sense of ownership at risk of faltering. Don't take on more than you can handle, but don't isolate yourself away from living life in full. 

2. There is no ownership without self-love, acceptance and grace. Bouncing off of the first point, you exercise these three things in ownership by letting go. Our human design, if you want a life of fulfillment and longevity, demands seasons, it demands change. In order to exercise these three aspects of ownership, you must lean into calls for change -- otherwise, you're just betraying your own human nature. Betray your own nature, you lose touch with ownership of your life. That means, in the face of a mistake, failure, or self-betrayal (especially by means of force), you exercise self-love and acceptance, you give yourself grace, by acknowledging the failure. Then simply, let it go. Let the feelings be felt, let the emotions pass through you, and you'll be able to let the mistakes and losses go.

We're physically incapable of maintaining high-performance, executive decision making and positive cognitive behaviors when we hold onto any and every experience we go through. Especially in the case of highly-energetically charged experiences (traumas), you're now dealing with a high-intensity impact with no frame to match the intensity. The result of holding onto any experience too long, whether that be good memories to cope, or negative experiences out of avoidance, is dysfunction, mental illness, and shifts in your outer appearance. If you're happy, you look happy. If you're bitter, you wear it on your face also -- the difference? The person who is happy exercises self-love, acceptance and grace -- they understand that experiences must pass through them. There is balance in their walk, physically and metaphorically speaking. 

3. They're always looking and moving forward, even if they're required to look backward to sort through something unresolved. High-impact scenarios, that mess with the order of your life have the power to wear down our spirit at an alarming rate, when held onto too long. Going back off of the last point, you really have to think of yourself like a sponge -- we absorb most everything around us, we're made of water after all. This means that if you have a high-impact experience happen that threatens your life trajectory, it's most wise to get it out of your system as soon as possible. Every last bit of it, so that it doesn't bleed into other areas of your life. The quickest way in my opinion, just look at it, look at the thing you're avoiding and then share it with others. The energy will dissolve which means the power it has had over you will dissolve.  

Last, people who get this kind of response care deeply for others while simultaneously not caring what others think about them. If you had to be balanced in anything in life, it's this. Let people think what they want while you go after your dreams, while you take time to yourself, while you choose you. Tolerating people who hold you back from your dreams is just keeping your dreams out of reach. We're okay with being misunderstood because we understand how the laws of the universe work. Stick to your truth, and everything that is meant for you will fall into alignment as a path set before your feet. That's all ownership is, sticking to your path. 

-B