This is the Outcome You Want

“Let our sons in their youth be like plants full-grown, and our daughters like corner pillars cut for the structure of a palace;” Psalm 144:12 

I went to church nearly every Sunday for the entirety of my upbringing. I went to youth group, I participated in bell choir, camps and mission trips. I went to a Christian liberal arts school and went to church and led in worship teams and sung Christian classical choral music and gospel. A good 25 years or so and this verse was not once the focus for a sermon on family. Not once. 

What was focused on instead for this topic in those sermons and bible studies, were parts of scripture that alluded to honoring your father and mother. While that’s true — in chaotic, toxic or abusive households, focusing solely on these scriptures for family sermons, dismiss the autonomy and respect of children. Not just that, but the blessing of God’s abundance. We can see that from the remainder of Psalm 144, in verses 13-15. Verse 12 is a foundational framework, for the remainder of blessings to be had in verses 13-15. Without verse 12 in tact, verses 13-15 aren’t feasible. Because in ending this Psalm, the scripture is written, “Blessed are the people whose God is the LORD!” Full grown sons and cornerstone daughters are results of people who worship God alone.

Matthew 18:6 also says, “but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” You can honor your parents, love them, respect them and have a relationship with them. But if they have caused you to sin (turn away from God), you must ignore their example. That is, if you want to be in God’s plan, if you want to be fully grown and fully carved. Otherwise, you’ll never have the capacity for His blessing in your life. 

Cause let’s break this down some. A plant full grown can do many things. It provides more oxygen to our environment. It might produce fruit or herbal supplements or natural treatments. It can provide shade, depending on the size. It fills the atmosphere with life. As for the daughters, being cut for the structure of a palace — the intent and design of being a matured woman is to be whole on her own. Because of her wholeness of self, she can assume a position of upholding not just her life, but a home, a community, a workplace, a palace. The bottom line for both — men must fully grow into being a man after God’s own heart. Women must not depend on an outside source to fill their corner pillar. 

So listen, if you learned it wrong, if you had a poor example, if you were conditioned to believe that you cannot assume the natural design of what it means to be one of God’s children, it’s okay. You can unlearn the and release the damage. You can squeeze every last ounce of darkness and evil that was melded into your being. You can. You just have to commit to doing it. The other thing is, we are called to be childlike. This isn’t a state of naivety, it’s a state of continued learning and growth. It’s a state of wonder for life. 

You may be thinking, “Why the heck are you writing about this on a music education and coaching website?” Because, as a 20+year vocalist who has had her voice robbed countless times to traumatic experience, to ongoing coercive control and lies straight from the devil’s mouth, it’s only my word that could change my reality of suffering and constant friction. Only mine. I had to say myself, “It is finished.” And so it is. I left that former state of being.

I left the reality of being a scapegoat which didn’t serve myself, God, or man, to step into His design of wholeness. I would have never survived, let alone made much success in my career or life, if I couldn’t step into that space. To be your own and let that be enough is the outcome, the foundation you want for your life. You don’t want to cope with fillers — it’s noisy, messy, grimy even. Without that foundation, you’ll never appreciate the blessings, constantly in a state of need of approval. God doesn’t want you to be exhausted. He wants you fully grown, and fully whole. The voice is your unique instrument to carve and architect your life. If you want to get comfortable using it as that tool, join me in Amplify Your Voice. Click anywhere in this paragraph to get set up. 

-B