"I am not your savior."

Stop trying to be people's savior. And stop looking for people to be your savior. Instead, call them up into their highest self. Step into your higher self. This is where that saying, “do to others as you’d do to yourself comes in” except for, a lot of us struggle to do for ourselves in the first place. A lot of us struggle with people pleasing, where people pleasing is a destroyer of peace. But if you are adamant on changing those habits for yourself, keep reading. 

In the spring of 2025, I flew back to Austin, Texas for a redemption trip. Why redemption? Because of what happened on my second trip. While on my redemption trip though, I heard and absorbed a lot of words that cut through the noise of my current state, working to both shakeup what needed to move out of my system, and solidify a foundation for growth. Whether you know this part of my story or not, I’ll sum it up here. My first trip to Austin, Texas for SXSW in the Spring of 2023 was incredible. I found my heart on that trip. I played tambourine and sang everyday. The second trip, just 6 months later nearly cost me my life when I was attacked on my first night at a vacation rental. And while I had the biggest panic attack on the plane over for that third trip, I will preach this till my dying day: the sooner you get that panic attack out of your system, the sooner you can move past and detach from a horrific experience. Program your mind to say, "No, this experience will not dictate my life" from day one. Had I of not gone that third time, I wouldn’t have ever been able transmute my experience from the second trip.

The point I’m getting to — the outcome I wanted was in my hands. Frankly, I just wasn’t okay with allowing the damage from the second trip overshadow the joy from the first, as well as the second, and the new experiences to be had on the 3rd or any other returning trip, as well as flights elsewhere. And also, I found that a whole lot of other people weren’t okay with that outcome either. This is the power in speaking up for yourself, in getting your story witnessed — you discover you actually aren’t alone at all, and that other people get it. They understand the vulnerable state you are in, they understand the agony you feel. They understand it. While we may not live through the exact same experiences, we can still empathize because of having lived through a similar painful experience. But here's the deal — if you don’t believe that others do understand it, you will never be able to receive the help you need. Not the saving, the help. 

So what's the difference between help and saving? An easy way to look at it: help is a result of overflow, where saving is a result of self-abandonment and people-pleasing. You can go out of your way to help someone, that's okay, but it should never be at the expense of your needs. In fact, if you're helping where you are designed to help, you'll find you are actually nurturing your own needs in the helping itself. More on this in a later post, about drinking from your own well — a principle which should also apply to your path, your source of income and stability. Help is a result from peace, calm and stability. Saving is a result from chaotic reactivity, bending over backwards and such. You might ask, what about natural disasters, random attacks and that sort of thing? Most places in the world have a system, a procedure to respond to those disasters, a workforce ready to respond — calm and stability moves in to "save" in those scenarios, but really, it's structured, already programmed help. 

But how do you really decipher this, whether you are helping or are stuck in a state of trying to save people? Listen for friction. What do I mean by that. Your gut will speak up, you'll try and hold yourself back with a "no, I should do this". You'll feel unrest or that you're reaching outside of yourself to create an outcome that someone else wants. Not the outcome you want. This branches a bit into alignment now, where if you're aligned, the desired outcomes between you and another person, or group of people are the same. All the "why's" of being there not being the point, but the drive for the outcome you all have. A perfect example is being employed at a place that allows you to operate how you need to operate, versus a work environment that creates friction around this, by the way it operates. If you think of your mind and nervous system as a facility, you yourself have requirements to meet so that you keep operating as your best and highest self. Friction is always an indicator that something needs to shift. That doesn't always mean drop things or leave, it just requires you to listen. Cause sometimes, often I'd say, if you are moving upward and outward of a bottleneck from a mold that doesn't suit you, you will be "quitting" regularly. Going from one level to the next. 

The worst thing to listen to and live off of is a lie that says, "I have to save you". The reason for that is because the facility for those words to be announced on the intercom, is a place where you are living in survival mode. Now instead of residing there, if the environment cannot change because you cannot control others, what if you find a different environment that says, "I can do this, I can contribute a whole lot here"? If you sit with these two statements for a moment, notice how you feel holding onto one versus the other. Notice how "I have to save you" requires you to persistently find an answer, or else a negative outcome can occur. Notice how, "I can do this, I can contribute a whole lot here" feels easy, natural, calm. The only thing you need to do, to help others, is find the people and places where you can acknowledge and say, "That. I can do that." Not because it's another option, but because that acknowledgement is grounded in certainty of who you are, your gifts and skillset. Then as you operate out of that space, you will help others by default. 

You are not anyone's savior. I am not yours. 

If you want to know what you are — you're an agent. To the sources of good or the sources of evil in this world. If you want to be a good agent, step into your self-agency. That "facility" doesn't involve urgency to save yourself or others. 

In holistic voice coaching, I coach you how to use your voice as your regulator, communicator and navigator in life. I help you cut through the noise of ANTS (automatic negative thoughts) or false core beliefs that hold you back from being your free self. I help you reclaim your voice. Attend my free training, Finding Safety Through Self Expression, to take the next step in your self-agency. Click anywhere in this paragraph to register. 

-B

P.S. If your life is a video game, will you win? Winning at a video game comes from overcoming obstacles and challenges within the game. It comes from stepping into the character that has full capability to win. From day one, choose to win.