Finding Your Voice

I really did not have the best voice — but I had a great ear. That’s what choir director’s look for, and probably why I got several solos over the years. But I was no prodigy — never a young Mariah, Christina or Ariana. It took my voice time, practice, and healing to fully develop. And on the healing part, that is more around dynamics from my childhood that kept me a singer that was “just good enough”. While we’re our own biggest critics, I do have my evolution documented. My skills as a vocalist have expanded the further that I healed my traumatic experiences. I wanted to be a great singer — that meant I had to be thorough in understanding every factor that impacts your ability to sing. Emotional backlog? Nervous system dysregulation? Blocked chakras? Unknown blindspots? YOU BET THEY WILL IMPACT YOUR POTENTIAL. 

Even now though, there’s more for me to learn as a vocalist. While I’ve expanded my range to three octaves (on a good day), there are technical skills I can’t do much of and could expand on: runs; screaming; roars. I can’t sing whistle tones or do overtone singing right now. If I’m out of practice, I can get lost in ensembles and groups, second guessing my note or harmony — it’s much like playing cello for the first time in an orchestra when you grew up playing trumpet in band. (I think this is right?)

When it comes to finding your voice, these are the kind of questions you want to ask. How can I improve my abilities? What’s keeping me at this plateau, holding me back from expansion? How intimate am I with my voice, as I am right now, today? When you get into the nuances of the human voice, it’s easier to listen to yourself. That one thing, that when you try talking about and your voice crackles right when you get to the main point of it? Uh - HELLO. Repeating a word or phrase, over and over as you are trying to get the words out? NEWSFLASH. Swallowing the words and emotions altogether because you “just can’t”? SOUND THE ALARM. 

I know this may sound a little overboard, but I need you to get this — when you shut down communication with yourself, you shut down communication with others and the world. And while I can’t force you to learn lessons the easy way, take it from me if you’ll heed some wisdom — you cannot afford to do this to yourself. Look at your life like a checkbook — where shutting down communication with your own self? It’s not in the budget. And while you may think, “But it’s not that big of a deal — it takes so much time.” Yea, and? You can’t make time for yourself, is what you’re saying. Or that, that time spent on yourself isn’t valuable enough to invest in, even though you’d be better off if you just went and took the time?

If you want others to invest in you and your mission and vision, you have to be the first to lead that effort. If you want your voice to be heard, you have to hear what you’re actually saying yourself. Where “hearing” isn’t just a concept of in one ear and out the other, it’s a response of initiative. You must respond with action, that is, if it really matters to you. Without action, there’s no incentive for others to care. Action is what shows others that you do — this is what creates magnetism, and generates energy toward any endeavor you are after. 

So when you’re finding your voice — and I’m not talking about singing per se — what you draw near to will draw near to you. Make sure you’re drawing near to where you want to be, to who you want to be around, to what you want to be doing. 

-B

“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21