Confidence Does Not Equal Condemnation

Hey there reader, 

I haven't disclosed this yet on the blog, but this post, as well as most other posts I've written to this point used to be named something else. The material was first-person focused, with the intent of what I'd thought was a positive approach to helping people identify and resonate with things in their own journies; every title started with "I...". Turned out this backfired on me because of the language I used, and with the demonic attacks I was experiencing during that time, I attracted negative energy without even knowing it. I had to take the blog down because it actually posed a threat to my life. So while I am here on the blog encouraging you to get vocal, there is a way to do this without running yourself into traps. And to be honest, I think I was a bit hot-headed in my writing, doing a lot of "call-outs" of who's wrong, because of my new found truth in recovering my suppressed trauma. Confidence is a great thing, and it's something you will feel when the jigsaw falls into place around your past trauma. However, confidence should not result in condemnation. When you've been raised to condemn, trust me, I know how much you may feel torn in two when trying to please the ones who've raised you while knowing deep down things are wrong. Right here, is where I say get vocal, and perhaps just with yourself so that you're safe. The whole point in getting vocal in the first place is to stay secure in the present. And newsflash: security doesn't involve being "split in two". 

The voice though generates confidence when you use it. Your voice also lays down the foundation of what your confidence is built on. So in considering the result of my past blog I had to retire, my confidence wasn't fully rooted in something secure. That's because my focus leaned more toward, "I know the truth, hear me roar," than it was a, "Hey, look at this. Look what I discovered." This is what makes all the difference in your vocal development: are you nurturing condemnation in your sharing, or are you sharing to get connected and connect others? Cause remember, no one has ever asked to be attacked, and the energy you give something tends to determines what it will become.

If you're someone who's been abused you could be thinking, "but they were wrong!!" I get it - I know. They were wrong for what they did, what they said, how they used you. What does this tell us? It tells us they still haven't learned that their behavior is not okay. It tells us that there is still enough people validating for them that their behavior is okay. Make sense? Either that or, the voices in their head, from the devil and demons have completely invaded, weakened their mind and manipulated their understanding of what it means to be human so much, that they are losing the internal battle. Not a fun place to be, or a great way to live if you ask me. So in taking this into consideration, that any person who has been attacked or sabotaged or oppressed others is fighting an internal battle, one they are losing every time they attack others or self-sabotage... attacking, condemning, even restraining them only fuels the fire. They are already reactive, further stoking the reactivity with attacks or condemnation will not solve the problem and it will not cause them to stop their behavior or actions. 

I believe that our words and thoughts are so powerful, that you can think a thought or speak a word before something happens or in the midst of a threat and you will determine the situation or defuse the threat. I've actually done this, going onto stages before a show with the band thinking, "we're gonna rock it tonight". The result? One of those magical sets where you're 35 minutes in and you don't know where the time has gone because you're just floating. I've defused threats by saying "No, that will not happen." I'm also a bit like a message in a bottle when it comes to metaphysics -- among several biblical stories I've lived out, I've had skin outbreaks concurrent with world events for example. Most recently was earlier this year -- it healed on its own. Something happens when you think a thought or speak a word though. Think of language as a living, breathing life form wherein what you say or think comes to life -- that means even if it's not an outcome you want, it's in what you say that can anchor itself as a belief. That belief can then turn into a belief system, a harmful one (condemnation) or one full of life (confidence in security). Choose which you want to lean. And yes, leaning toward secure confidence relies on trust, faith a growth mindset. Leaning towards condemnation relies on a a strong-grip and fixed mindset.

While I won't get into the nuances here, I hope you understand that fixed mindsets come from a lack of boundaries in the mind, whereas growth mindsets come from strong boundaries of the mind. Likewise, condemnation comes from poor boundaries, confidence comes from strong boundaries. As for my previous blog post, I was generating content with poor boundaries, so it's kind of a no wonder that I invited in unwanted energy. This rewritten post is somewhat an inversion of the overall theme from the previous, which had been titled, "I Opened Pandora's Box". See how my inviting in all sorts of energy was in the name I gave it? I will though, end this post with my final thoughts from that retired one: 

"Everything that’s meant for you is just in the process of being calculated in the universe.  

Be patient for it.

And in the meantime? 

Store up that good cosmic energy, and hold people accountable to their bullshit." 

In the words of my grandmother, the one who walked a life in security and confidence: "You don't have to do too much. The one who loves you will pick you up."

If you've read this far, trust me, you are loved. You matter, and you are enough. 

With that, I pray you walk forward in confidence. 

-B